Laser Pointers
by Toxic Moon
Summary: Gin ignores Aizen's orders and uses Szayel's latest invention to have some fun with the Espada. Not crack, but with a premise like that, it's getting close...


Laser Pointers

Las Noches, while enormous and ominous (How had Aizen managed to make a building that looked like it was brooding?) was also a fairly dull place to live, and in between missions, Ichimaru often found himself quite bored.

Usually, to relieve the boredom, he'd see if Aizen, Tousen or the Espada were up to anything interesting, but Aizen only ever wanted to smile enigmatically over a cup of tea and Tousen wasn't much fun as he had somehow wound up with the full-time job of babysitting Wonderweiss.

That left the Espada to amuse him, but their entertainment value varied. Ulquiorra, for one, wasn't even fun to try and provoke as he proved completely indifferent to whatever Gin tried (though he wasn't quite sick of trying yet. And Grimmjow had been more than happy to help with his latest ideas.) Ulquiorra was out, though, and after crossing most of his other options off his mental list, Ichimaru made his way to Las Noches' laboratories.

"Whatcha got there, Szayel?"

The scientist looked up from his research to find Gin's face disturbingly close. Although, looking up and seeing Gin is always a little frightening, regardless of how far away he was. Recovering, Szayel relaxed enough to be able to present his latest invention - "I had some spare time, and so I developed a series of laser pointers. I felt that they could be of some use, in place of the regular pointers you're forced to use at meetings."

"Well, ain't that thoughtful of ya," Ichimaru grinned as he accepted the small device. "I think Aizen's got somethin' against laser lights - but I'll make use of this."

"I'm sure you will," Szayel smirked.

Aizen was late for the following morning's meeting. Or rather, since his will is law, everyone else had just assembled rather early - though they wished they had a way of gauging how early. Bored, some of the espada started picking small fights, as Nnoitra leered across the table at Halibell and Grimmjow tried to provoke a response out of Ulquiorra. Gin, however, had a new toy to play with.

The eigth espada had been playing 'Better Things I Could Do With My Time' and ignoring the other arrancar, but was the first to notice the glowing pink dot on Tousen. Some of the others followed his line of sight and soon all of the espada were supressing laughter as Gin directed the dot in a slow circle over the shinigami's chest.

"Why is it pink? Laser pointers are red..." Nnoitra asked the table, his eyes fixated on the dot as every other espada's were.

Szayel was too hypnotised by his own invention to answer, but Grimmjow could guess, "It's pink because Pinky made it. Everything Pinky makes is pink. Pink..." There was something very predatory about the way the Sexta was watching the light, as if some feline instinct was threatening to pounce.

The blind shinigami couldn't sense the small beam of light Ichimaru had directed at him, and was clueless as to what was amusing the espada so much - what was pink? - but he did notice when Wonderwiess beside him went, "Ooooaaaaahhhh" and hit him in the chest in an attempt to catch the glowing light. "What is it?" he asked the young arrancar who looked up at him blankly and poked the dot.

None of the Espada went to help Tousen, trying to fend off Wonderweiss who was by now trying to eat the dot. They were too busy laughing, staring disapprovingly at Gin, or attempting to do both.

When the ex-Fifth-Captain finally ran out of the room, wailing in fear as Wonderweiss pursued, Ichimaru lost his target and for lack of anything better to do, made lazy figure-eights on the opposite wall. The Espada lost interest, and went back to their usual idlings; Halibel ignoring Nnoitra, who then moved his attention to Szayel, who flushed at the interest in him but continued making notes about the laser pointer. Baraggan and Zommari were bored enough for a staring contest, Aaroniero argued with himself and Yammy tried to subtly eat slices of cake.

Ulquiorra was watching Grimmjow's focus on the pink dot with slight concern as the Sexta's muscles began to tense. Stark had just managed to slip back into sleep when he woke up at the loud, 'THUD' of the Panthera smacking into the wall. The other Espada stared, Grimmjow slowly slid to the floor, the pink dot danced over his back and Gin laughed quietly.

"And this," Aizen said as he swept into the meeting room and smoothly exchanging Szayel's device for Gin's regular pointer, "Is why I do not allow laser pointers in Hueco Mundo."

...

A/N: My very first fanfiction, and it had to be something this stupid. Ah, well...


End file.
